Your Presence (Not Presents) is Requested this Holiday Season – December 20, 2022

Well, here we are. There are only a handful of days left in 2022. Some people love the holidays; they love spending time with their families, and get super excited about all the planning, gatherings, decorating, and gift-giving.

Other people are completely alone, or don’t get along with their families, are compelled to work like crazy right up until Christmas to meet an end-of-year quota, or perhaps even coping with a recent layoff.

Whatever your situation, this time of year can be incredibly stressful. (If this is you, here’s a friendly reminder to re-read my December 2021 blog post about setting boundaries.)

Since I returned from my month-long road trip back in August, I’ve been thinking a lot about the future. My mind is churning with plans, dreams, and ideas — especially at this moment, when we’re all facing the end of the calendar year and starting to think about what we want to create in 2023.

And of course, that can be another source of stress!

Everyone’s coming from a different place. Whatever you’re experiencing, whatever’s going on in your life and in your mind, I invite you to find your presence among whatever joy, chaos, or challenging emotions are coming up.

Practice Tuning In

Right around this time of year, my grandpa used to say, “I don’t want nothin’. Save your money!”

While I truly relate to this approach to Christmas gifting now (I’m a big believer in experiences, not things), there is one thing I really want for Christmas: to be present. To be present to myself. To be present for the people in my life. I invite you to raise your awareness of your own presence.

Recognize that it’s a frenzied time. It’s okay if you’re running through the mall or trying to make a meal for 20 hungry people. Whatever is going on, tune into the experience of it (even if it sucks in that moment!)

Create Space for the Traditions You Love

If some traditions are starting to feel like a slog, focus on shifting your perspective around these things. Remember that it’s something you chose to do — something that you get to do, that you want to do! Or, if you feel like you “have” to do it, it might be time to consider if it’s something you can just take off your list entirely. For me it was decorating the house – other than a small tree, I just didn’t do it this year.  I created space for me to be present to myself and focus on spending time in a more fulfilling way.

Create Space for the People You Love

Yesterday I spoke with a colleague who told me, “I just took everything off my calendar that doesn’t have to be done in the next two weeks. I moved it all to January.” She created lots of space for herself because her kids are coming home, and she wants to spend time with them. Her actions will allow her to be fully present to what matters most to her.

Create Space for Yourself

Through the chaos, practice tuning into yourself. Notice what you’re experiencing in each moment. If it’s not something that you want to be experiencing, look at what you can do to shift it, either by changing something in the outside world, or changing your perspective.

The Headspace Meditation App tells us:

●        Being present means focusing on one thing and feeling whatever emotion we feel when we feel it… even the challenging ones.

●        The more we practice being present, the more comfortable we’ll feel when we experience tough emotions.

●        Mindfulness and meditation help us notice thoughts and feelings when they come up — the first step in learning how to be more present.

Are You Dreaming About the Future?

The older I get, the more contemplative I get. This year in particular, I’ve found myself spending a lot of time in my Default Mode Network (DMN). This is the area of the brain responsible for things like envisioning the future (dreaming or worrying), introspection, understanding others, and noticing new perspectives.

Read more about the Brain Networks in my recent blog post on the topic.

There are so many ideas that interest and inspire me. I sometimes feel like there are so many things I’m excited about that I’d need three more lifetimes to accomplish it all!

And… sometimes those big ideas just tire me out and make me want to take a nap.

All that time spent dreaming about the future reminds me that my life is happening now. It’s right here, in this very moment. I can dream all I want, but it’s this moment, and the next, and the next, that will lead to some future point, whatever that may look like.

It’s clear to me that being present in my experiences and in my connections with others (which often feel fleeting) are some of the greatest sources of joy. My goal for the holiday season this year is to soak up all the presence I can, and I invite you to do the same.

Some Ideas for Being Present

If you are struggling to be in the present moment, consider some of these ideas to help you find it.

1. Tune into your five senses. Meditate or journal about what you see, hear, taste, smell, and touch.

   
   

2. Write down your feelings. What emotions are you experiencing in this very moment? Releasing them to paper will help them to dissipate faster and allow you to come back to a more grateful place.

   
   

3. Surrender. When you feel joy, let go of any part of you that may worry it won’t last. Just be here, now.

   
   

4. Walk in nature. Let the sights, sounds, and smells remind you that you are a part of something larger than yourself.

   
   

5. Listen to a guided meditation. Especially one that is focused on helping you be here and now rather than in some future place.

If you miss the annual reflective questions I usually share at this time of year, please revisit my blog from December 2021. In it, you will find a list of questions to help you reflect on your successes, disappointments, and lessons learned as a valuable way to help you take what is needed from the past year and support you in creating intentions for the coming 12 months.

If you would like support in reflecting or in designing your new year, I’d love to talk. Click here to set up a breakthrough session where we’ll talk about how this looks for you specifically.

Photo Source: Your Are Your Realty