Values-Based Decision Making – November 15, 2021

“Your values are what you care about and consider important. They are at the core of what you find meaningful in life.” -Susan David, author of Emotional Agility.

Over the past several months, my business has been busy! Quite a few new clients have come knocking on my door with a similar thread to each of their stories: they have recently had time to re-evaluate their lives and they want to make big changes.

For many of them, this is a side effect of the COVID-19 pandemic, which forced a lot of people to slow down and reconsider their day-to-day lives.  Terms like “re-awakening” are emerging in popular culture.

But even though they know they want change, a lot of these clients come to me without a clear idea of where to go or how to start. All they know is that they want something different, and they need help finding it.

I am very clear that I’m not in the business of helping people just find their next paycheck. That’s not fulfilling for anyone, and taking a job just because it pays will eventually leave you feeling empty again. When I do career coaching work, my role is to help clients find the right job on the right career path, or re-evaluate the kind of leader they want to be within their current organization.

That’s why the work of identifying core values is so important. Knowing your core values will remind you who you authentically are, and help you prioritize the things that matter. It will allow you to lead from a position of clarity.

What Values Matter to You Right Now?

Determining eight to ten personal values is one of the foundational topics I discuss with my clients early on in our work together, and yet… lots of values are important. We could each have over 100 values, but we try to whittle it down to a list of eight to ten values that really matter right now. We refine by asking questions like:

• What in your life is not getting the attention it deserves?

  
  

• Is there a value whose voice is too loud that needs to be balanced out?

  
  

• What part of you is feeling overly compromised or stuffed down?

  
  

From there, it becomes easier to choose a list of values that get priority right now.

Resolving Conflicting Values

Very often as we work through the list, people discover that they have a conflict of values. For instance, one of my values is flexibility and freedom, which for me looks like the freedom to choose how I spend my time, where I spend my time, and who I spend my time with. Flexibility means being able to give attention to all areas of my life rather than allowing one thing (usually work) to have too loud of a voice.

At the same time, my other top value is security. So I also have to work! How can I balance those two values?

I created a new value, and a new word. I call it “freecurity.” I got the idea from a professional development course that taught us to give equal voice to all our values (or at least the top values that are most important). People often feel they have to choose, so they do… but that leaves a very important value to get stomped on and leaves people feeling “blah,” “meh,” empty, angry, or sad.

Each of your values gets to have an equal voice, which is why I created freecurity. It reminds me that freedom, flexibility, and security carry equal weight in my life; I can’t ignore any of them. I constantly challenge my clients to say, “you can have both!” You must decide not to settle on a situation that compromises one of your values for the long-term (short-term tradeoffs are sometimes worth it).

Goal-Driven Success vs. Values-Driven Success

The idea of goal-driven success, as opposed to values-driven success, essentially boils down to external vs. internal rewards.

Goal-driven success sounds like, “I got promoted at work, so I got a raise.” That’s an external reward. It can be fulfilling if it was a goal you set out to accomplish, but what’s even more rewarding is a values-based success, which has more of an internal or intrinsic reward.

A values-based success might be something like helping to coach and mentor people who are junior to you and seeing one of them get promoted. You are partially responsible for their success, and it will feel rewarding — possibly even more rewarding than the raise you might get from your own promotion!

Take Action and Determine Your Values

Take a look at this list of values from Brené Brown to help you determine which top values are most important to you.

Then take a look at Susan David’s guiding questions to get more clarity about how you see your values shaping your life.

Start to be intentional about the choices you make and ensure they are values-based choices. When you choose to live by your values, rather than chasing a fleeting goal, you’ll find a much deeper sense of satisfaction in all areas of your life.

I’d love to hear about your values. Shoot me a note to let me know how your values impact your decision-making.