Check Your Story: How Our Inner Narratives Shape Work Relationships - February 17, 2026

The stories, or narratives, we tell ourselves can make or break our outcomes, both for ourselves and in our relationships with others.

Those stories are built from the thousands of random thoughts we have every day. The thoughts we choose to listen to become the narratives in our heads. Over time, those narratives can start to feel like facts. And once something feels like a belief, it drives our actions… and eventually our results - whether those are the outcomes we wanted or not.

I try (emphasis on try) to edit my thoughts so they support the outcomes I actually want. That means regularly checking my stories.

Here’s a common example I use in my workshops:

You’re walking down the hallway at work. Your new boss, who just relocated from out of state with his family, passes you without acknowledging you or saying hello.

What happens next is critical.

Most of our brains are wired to scan for the negative first. So the story you tell yourself might be: He doesn’t like me. He doesn’t care about me.

That story leads to frustration or apathy. Those feelings lead you to disengage. And before you know it, you’ve got a strained relationship with a boss who’s only been there a few weeks.

And guess what?

You made it all up.

What if your brain tuned into a different story?

What if your boss had just gotten off the phone with his partner, who shared that their child is struggling at their new school? What if he was distracted, worried, and not fully present when he passed you?

Same situation. Completely different story.

Now you’re feeling empathy instead of frustration. Concern instead of apathy. And those feelings lead to different actions, like checking in the following week to see how his child is doing. That small moment of care can begin to build trust and connection with your new boss.

You have a choice in the stories you believe.

Those thoughts in your head are just thoughts - not the truth.

Here’s another option that works really well: check your story.

“Hey - when we passed in the hallway earlier, and you didn’t acknowledge me, the story I was telling myself was that you don’t really care about me. Is there any truth to that?”

Cue the immediate response:

“No! Not at all. I’m so sorry I gave you that impression. I was distracted by a call about my child struggling at school.”

Game changer.

So here’s the question for you:

What stories are keeping you from having an important conversation, or quietly driving a wedge between you and someone else?

What stories are holding you back?

Common ones I hear all the time:

• I’m not going to look for a new job because I’ll never find one with this much flexibility.

• No one is going to pay me what I’m worth.

• My boss didn’t respond to my email, so it must not be important, or I must have done something wrong.

• If I speak up or push back, I’ll be labeled as difficult or not a team player.

• Insert your own story that you have on repeat…

  
  

A Quick Summary

Our brains are meaning-making machines. When we don’t slow down to examine our stories, we often default to the most negative interpretation - and then act as if it’s true. Checking your stories doesn’t mean being naïve or overly positive. It means being curious instead of reactive.

A Simple Call to Action

This week, notice one story you’re telling yourself that’s creating stress, distance, or hesitation. Pause. Ask: What else could be true? Or better yet, check it directly with the person involved.

That small shift can change everything.

Interested in talking more about how to create more effective stories that move you forward, rather than keeping you stuck? Reach out to me here to let me know what’s on your mind and schedule a time to connect.